Day 20: How do I blame another for that which I am responsible?

How do I blame another for my responsibility?

It is like happiness is only possible when you realize it is your responsibility. If you put the responsibility onto another you can never be happy.

Success is a personal responsibility. Health is a personal responsibility.

How do you blame something outside of you for something you are responsible for?

This question is kind of painful. It is so much easier to look at everything, and everyone, other than yourself, especially when it comes to assigning blame for the bad things that happen in life.

Ugh. Like cancer. Whose fault is that? Is it Mike's? Is it random? Is it because of some deeply hidden childhood trauma? Is it God's? Who?

The answer me. It always comes back to me. I should have managed and expressed my emotions better. I should have loved myself enough to get out of a toxic environment sooner. I should have gone to the doctor sooner, more often. It's my responsibility.

Now I take that responsibility completely. Not just for my health, but for my life and my happiness and everything. I know now that it is up to me and I have to love myself enough to make me a priority. That is what I am trying to do. I don't want to make excuses for anything anymore. If I want to beat cancer, if I want to be a jiu jitsu champion, if I want to make music, if I want to be an artist, if I want to have a lasting and loving relationship, if I want to explore the world, if I want to be connected to my family-to my friends...

then

it

is

up

to

me.

ME.

It's empowering, as much as it's frightening.