Day 35: What have you been conditioned to be?

Have you been conditioned to be in sorrow? to be a failure? not to be happy? not to accept your power? ?

Conditioning is changing it from how it is originally.

The only way conditioning can exist is in unconsciousness, as soon as you become aware of it, it no longer holds power over you.

Also, WHAT have you been conditioned for? Our education usually teaches us to be workers, rarely does it teach us to be leaders and effective human beings.

I have was conditioned that there was something wrong with me, and that I wasn't one of the smart ones. University proved that to be false. I was conditioned to pursue an education that would ensure stability, rather than something I loved. I always felt torn between art/creativity and science. I choose science because it was safe, and because I could pursue creative things like music, art, writing as a hobby; while it was harder to pursue brain surgery as a hobby, for example.

Much of me wonders what would have happened, where I'd be now if I did go to school for something more creative and less safe. I also wonder if it is possible to marry science and art in terms of a career. What would that look like?

I have been conditioned that I what I am and what I have is not enough on it's own and I must be supplemented. But I am conscious of this, and I think it's loosing it's hold on me. I know I don't need to try so hard anymore. I am finding it easier to say no to people and to stand up for myself.

As far as my education. I feel, at least in university, that I was conditioned to believe I was something special, that I have what it takes, that my work was exceptional... I guess it didn't sink in as much as it should of, probably from years of hearing the opposite in my public school and high school days.