Day 49: Nirvan technique

Nirvan means to be naked. Find a space 3 or 4 times today and be naked (undefended) to your own possibilities.

The possibilities for me are endless. Endless. If I can get over the prognosis... If I can learn to live regardless of my physical illness...

I'm inspired by the biological scientist Stephen Jay Gould who was diagnosed with a rare cancer that had a median survival of 8 months. He decided he was going to be in the tail end of the curve... living beyond the 8 months. He died 20 years later of another disease. He had one of the most admirable scientific careers of his era. He lived thirty times longer than the oncologists had predicted. THIRTY TIMES LONGER.

Anything is possible. Everything is possible.

Day 48: What is maturity?

Only when there is mature there is flowering. Mature people do not go to war, so to speak, they find constructive ways to solve problems. Have you acted as a mature person? Are you moving towards self-maturity?

I have not always acted as a mature person. But I know I am moving in that direction.

Day 47: Explore the fear that holds you

Explore the fears that grip you. Explore how your life is altered by these fears. For example, if someone is afraid of swimming, they avoid the sea or rivers. And in that way, maybe, they don't have to confront their fear. But, their fear is limiting them.

How is fear limiting my life?

I would say the things I am afraid of are not as tangible of being afraid of the water/swimming. They are more to do with fears of failing, of letting people down, of being rejected etc.

However I am not letting those fears limit my life. I am still risking, trying, taking chances... all the while knowing those outcomes might be possible.

For my part, I face my fears head on.

Day 46: What is your idea of the new humanity?

The world as it is now demands the new man. Contemplate what the new man would be like.
He would not carry the seed of the old man. The new man will not carry the seed of violence, he will be creative, a master, a blessing, he will celebrate every aspect of life, live joyously, be an enrichment for this life. He will be colorblind, not seeing race, creed, religion.

What is your idea of the new man?
And today try to be the embodiment of the new humanity.


Sounds pretty utopic doesn't it?

If everyone operated in the ways he described above the world would be an idyllic place.

For me, it would be nice to see humanity progress beyond itself. By that I mean, to truly live in a way where you are not just concerned with personal survival or the survival of offspring. It we could have better foresight on how we treat the environment and each other, our own bodies and minds... things would be different. If we could better appreciate the consequences of even our smallest actions and with that knowledge be empowered to make actions that with positive results.

Day 45: Just be

Take 5-10 minutes and just meditate. Just be. As you are. Without trying to be anything in particular. This is the beginning of self love.

Day 44: Listen to your inner voice

He says that we all have an inner guru. That often times we spend time and money going to others to tell us what to do... But if we would just quiet ourselves and listen our inner voice knows what to do.

There are different semantics for the concept that the is getting at, some people call it intuition, some call it the holy spirit, some people call it inner voice... But regardless, many people would agree that at one point or another they have had some kind of experience with an inner knowing.

I think, what ever you call it, the main problem is most people don't take the time to listen, and most people are so disconnected from this integral part of themselves, that they might not even recognize it, were it to speak.

Day 43: Why do we pretend things are ok?

Why do we lie to ourselves in this way?

There is power in recognizing what is not ok and dealing with it truthfully.

Contemplate how you make things ok before they are ok, and the reason(s) why.


It must be a coping mechanism. I think sometimes it is our minds way of protecting us from collapse/breakdown. Sometimes, if we could accurately appreciate the reality of certain situations we'd crack, we collapse under the weight of it all, all at once.

I'm not one to want to live in a delusion. But I recognize that sometimes there are things I can't fully process or appreciate at a given moment in time. However, over time, I become increasingly able to accurately accept things as they are. Sometimes it just takes time.

I do agree that unless you truthfully acknowledge the things in your life that aren't as you want them to be, you cannot make progress on getting them where you DO want them to be.

So I guess there is a bit of a dichotomy.

Day 42: Remember you are not separate

Remember you are not separate from everything, but you are one.

You are part of this cosmos. You are part of this earth. You are part of this land, this country, this human race.

Drop the idea of separation. Recognize we are all the same: same wants, same love, same needs.


What happens to one, affects another. Even what we do privately, can affect others. Any kind of "us and them" terminology creates distance, almost promotes superiority, outgroups people because of one thing or another.

On some profound level I think we all know we are deeply connected to everything around us. Even our smallest decisions can contribute to large effects. It's sobering, but I also find it empowering. What I do might not change the world, it might not fix every problem; but, what I do does have an effect and that matters.

Day 41: What do you have to do versus what do you have to allow to happen?

Come to the synthesis between all that you can do and all that has to happen. The master masters action and the unfolding. There is synthesis between what I have to do and what has to happen.

One is action, the next is surrender.

I think this is quite beautiful too. In the video he talks about a metaphor for this concept, using a farmer. What the farmer can do is plant the seeds, water, fertilize, but the growing happens as a result, it unfolds. He can't literally grow the plant, but he can do everything to set up the growth and then wait and let it unfold.

It makes me think of what I would describe as striving. Striving, to me, means desperately trying to force things to be a certain way, in a way that is stressful and desperate, and sadly, rarely results in what you are after.

If I think of this in terms of beating cancer, it's a much healthier view-point. I have died to that decision, it is my goal. I am doing everything I can to set up the best possible chance for health, wellness, recovery. I have to then let it go, rest in it, watch and wait, continue to water/fertilize/weed and then allow what will unfold as a result to unfold.

I can't force a remission. I can't force healing. But I can do everything to encourage those things to happen. And I am. And I do.

Day 40: Meditate on success

He says success is dying to a decision (giving yourself over to it completely) and watching it unfold.

Beautiful.

Day 39: Remeber you are a creator

Draw your awareness to yourself as a creator. Remember you are a creator and act like it!

Lately I have realized my own ability to create my own personal environment. I have been choosing joy and peace and letting the rest go. I realized, in tandem to working on my inner environment that I also have a lot of sway on my external environment, my home. I can make the space what I want it to be. I can make my internal and external environment conducive to my growth or not, conducive to peace or not, conducive to love or not.

Although, there are many things I cannot control. I can respond and react and create.

Day 38: How have you become false?

How have you become false? What elements support your falsehood? How do you betray or deny yourself?

This happened the other day: Someone asked me what was wrong, I said: "Nothing." "I'm fine." They said: "Your face says your upset... So there must be a disconnect. If you are not lying to me, then you are lying to yourself."

Why do I do that? Why do I hide? Why do I deny any pain/anger/frustration a voice most of the time?

I don't know. But I do.

Day 37: Seek your own "tabula rasa"/clean state

Try to find your clean state, your pure state, your innocent state. The moments when you are completely you. Try to be connected to that state the whole day.

Day 36: Are you what you want to be?

Are you the way you want to be? If not, how have you missed it? How have you become something other than what you want to be?

Hindu saying: when you attain your enlightenment, you will realize you are exactly what you want to be.

They are proposing you are already what you want to be, you are just not in touch.

I truly feel that I am how I want to be. I feel this way because I am pursuing my own unfolding, my own betterment, I am trying to uncover the "real" me. I am in a state of flux, I am dynamic, I am in progress, I haven't arrived, I am growing, and I am liking myself more and more along the way. And I do feel that where I am now is where I need to be.

Day 35: What have you been conditioned to be?

Have you been conditioned to be in sorrow? to be a failure? not to be happy? not to accept your power? ?

Conditioning is changing it from how it is originally.

The only way conditioning can exist is in unconsciousness, as soon as you become aware of it, it no longer holds power over you.

Also, WHAT have you been conditioned for? Our education usually teaches us to be workers, rarely does it teach us to be leaders and effective human beings.

I have was conditioned that there was something wrong with me, and that I wasn't one of the smart ones. University proved that to be false. I was conditioned to pursue an education that would ensure stability, rather than something I loved. I always felt torn between art/creativity and science. I choose science because it was safe, and because I could pursue creative things like music, art, writing as a hobby; while it was harder to pursue brain surgery as a hobby, for example.

Much of me wonders what would have happened, where I'd be now if I did go to school for something more creative and less safe. I also wonder if it is possible to marry science and art in terms of a career. What would that look like?

I have been conditioned that I what I am and what I have is not enough on it's own and I must be supplemented. But I am conscious of this, and I think it's loosing it's hold on me. I know I don't need to try so hard anymore. I am finding it easier to say no to people and to stand up for myself.

As far as my education. I feel, at least in university, that I was conditioned to believe I was something special, that I have what it takes, that my work was exceptional... I guess it didn't sink in as much as it should of, probably from years of hearing the opposite in my public school and high school days.