What is the truth you are living? What is the truth you are facing? What is the truth of you?
What is my truth? Who am I, truthfully?
When I ponder these questions I wonder, at first, where is the best place to start. Like what is it that defines me at the core? Is it cancer, is it jiu jitsu, is it Jesus, is it my choices, my character, the things that make up the darkness I possess?
It can't be something as random as cancer, although having this illness has shaped me in so many ways. It's not that I'm an athlete. It's not just that I want to be like Jesus and walk my life with him. It is more than the sum of my choices and the formation of my character.
I am me. I am more than my body, my external shell. I am complex and a bundle of contradiction and mystery. I am still being made. I am being re-created. I am changing and evolving and growing, on a daily basis.
Right now, at this present moment, I am comfortable being me. I am aware of so many failings, but I accept them and give myself time and space to grow. I am "on route" somewhere. That is one of the biggest truths about myself that I am aware of. There is a plan, and I am walking down the road before me as best as I can. The destination is still somewhat elusive, but I feel purposeful and inspired and determined.
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Thanks for making me think, Seana.
ReplyDeleteKeep on walking down that road. I think you're journey is amazing.